Monday, 14 March 2011

Scene from future BAFTA award winning script 'Bench Club' by Aaron Loughnane


FELIX is struggling with a rep. The bar is going sideways the jeers are overcoming the cheers. FELIX is sweating profusely. His eyes look as though they're about to bulge out of his head.

STEVEN comes over and helps the weight back on to the bench. FELIX sits up, desperately disappointed.

The ADJUDICATOR blows his whistle and waves an arm over the bench.

                                    Benched out!

The benchers from Rise of the Machines all cheer.

EDDIE SILVER comes forward and squares up to STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    Five's not bad. I'm no mathematician but I'd say
                                    that's about five more than I expected from one
                                    of your Bench Bums.

EDDIE SILVER'S benchers laugh. EDDIE SILVER raises a hand to silence them.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    I'd also say it was a good 2 repetitions shy of
                                    what Brad here can knock out. Which makes it
                                    71.4 percentile of what my man can manage.
                                    Which makes your guy 71.4 percentile of the
                                    man that my guy is. Or if we take another view
                                    that my guy can do 2 more repetitions than
                                    your guy it means he can post an additional 40
                                    percentile on your guys total which makes him
                                    40 percentile more of a man.

EDDIE SILVER looks around expecting a rapturous applause. He gets nothing save for a few affirmative noises from his benchers.

He doesn't seem to mind and returns his gaze to STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    Oh looky! I am a mathematician!

                                    Maths counts for nothing in this gym.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    That's just as well.

EDDIE SILVER looks over at COOKIE. COOKIE is kicking a weight along the floor.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER;
                                    Hey retard! What's two plus two?

STEVEN grabs EDDIE SILVER by the lapels and thrusts him up against a wall. The benchers from Rise of the Machines all spring to life. The benchers from Bench Club look on powerlessly waiting for it all to kick off.

STEVEN realises he has lost control of himself and lets EDDIE SILVER go.

EDDIE SILVER straightens himself out and stares at STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    I could have this competition voided for that and
                                    declare us the winners.

The ADJUDICATOR steps forward obligingly to void the clipboard he is holding.

EDDIE SILVER holds up his hand to stop him.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    But I want this to be a victory for the machines.
                                    So we're going to settle this as agreed.


No comments:

Post a Comment