Miss Scarlett are recording…

As you may know already, Miss Scarlett is a band for which I provide the lyrics, vocal melodies and back up guitar parts which the other guys appreciate so much.

At the moment we are in the middle of recording an album, the first we’ve ever done and are doing so in an act of self-funded folly, you may say.

We’re almost certainly good enough to get a record deal but we haven’t chased one down with any great fervour.

We figure that if we can record an album off our own back, find the right means to distribute it and reach a wide enough audience it puts us in a good position to remain true to our artistic selves for the rest of our anticipated career as we’ll always have that independent achievement to give us the confidence we can make the right decisions.

We all enjoy working together very much and we’ve been dedicated both to the artistic side of creating music and rehearsing to deliver polished performances live for long enough now to declare that the time is right to capture an album which is both viscerally energetic and spiritually moving.

I’m sure you’ll be the judge of that.

We’re learning a lot as we go and we’ll definitely keep you informed of our progress.

We don’t really have a huge presence on social networking sites (or even on our own website –www.wearemissscarlett.com) I think generally because we got into music to make music and stir people to move uncontrollably or lie, alone on their bed listening to our songs, immersing themselves in a different dimension, just like all the bands that so inspired us and anything beyond that would involve communicating in a way that doesn’t come naturally.

The difficulty will be in capturing a sound which places us in and above what’s being heard today – to separate ourselves from the background noise if you will – whilst retaining our creative voice and emotional energy in order to create something which has a timeless musicality and feeling.

I’m confident we’ll achieve that.

We’ll tell you when you can get a copy and what the RRP is.

Recommended by ourselves obviously.

Scene from future BAFTA award winning script 'Bench Club' by Aaron Loughnane

INT. COMPETITION GYM – LATER

FELIX is struggling with a rep. The bar is going sideways the jeers are overcoming the cheers. FELIX is sweating profusely. His eyes look as though they're about to bulge out of his head.

STEVEN comes over and helps the weight back on to the bench. FELIX sits up, desperately disappointed.

The ADJUDICATOR blows his whistle and waves an arm over the bench.

                                                                        ADJUDICATOR:
                                    Benched out!

The benchers from Rise of the Machines all cheer.

EDDIE SILVER comes forward and squares up to STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    Five's not bad. I'm no mathematician but I'd say

                                    that's about five more than I expected from one
                                    of your Bench Bums.

EDDIE SILVER'S benchers laugh. EDDIE SILVER raises a hand to silence them.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    I'd also say it was a good 2 repetitions shy of
                                    what Brad here can knock out. Which makes it
                                    71.4 percentile of what my man can manage.

                                    Which makes your guy 71.4 percentile of the
                                    man that my guy is. Or if we take another view

                                    that my guy can do 2 more repetitions than
                                    your guy it means he can post an additional 40

                                    percentile on your guys total which makes him
                                    40 percentile more of a man.

EDDIE SILVER looks around expecting a rapturous applause. He gets nothing save for a few affirmative noises from his benchers.

He doesn't seem to mind and returns his gaze to STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    Oh looky! I am a mathematician!

                                                                        STEVEN:
                                    Maths counts for nothing in this gym.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:

                                    That's just as well.

EDDIE SILVER looks over at COOKIE. COOKIE is kicking a weight along the floor.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER;
                                    Hey retard! What's two plus two?

STEVEN grabs EDDIE SILVER by the lapels and thrusts him up against a wall. The benchers from Rise of the Machines all spring to life. The benchers from Bench Club look on powerlessly waiting for it all to kick off.

STEVEN realises he has lost control of himself and lets EDDIE SILVER go.

EDDIE SILVER straightens himself out and stares at STEVEN.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    I could have this competition voided for that and
                                    declare us the winners.

The ADJUDICATOR steps forward obligingly to void the clipboard he is holding.

EDDIE SILVER holds up his hand to stop him.

                                                                        EDDIE SILVER:
                                    But I want this to be a victory for the machines.

                                    So we're going to settle this as agreed.